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You might think that scientists are above answering such questions, but you’d be wrong. People say you’re in a good marriage if you never go to bed angry, if you always do everything together, if you let things go. It’s as if the question itself is strange. How long will the girls continue to be the victims of this physical appearance? They have been physically attracted to their partner and found a friend through their dynamic as a couple. My parents are also doing the same. Currently working for a US MNC with a very good salary … “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Looks do matter, though they should not be the only factor we are looking at … Or is it openly obvious when there is no physical attraction that a lot of rishtas don’t take place? But whilst the ‘rishta’ process has now evolved, do prospective families and couples actually consider looks when meeting their potential future husband or wife? Mani is a Business Studies Graduate. When will the helpless mothers stop begging for their daughters' relationship? He says that looks did matter to him and it helped in making the decision to say yes: “We spoke for 20 minutes and we both decided to go ahead with the marriage through the vichola (matchmaker) and it helped that I was physically attracted to her.”. No. We explore whether looks do matter in over personality or not. Ask British Asians what they ‘look’ for in their potential partner and the answers gear towards the type of job they have, their income, their family background and religious beliefs. There is the sense that because the marriage was arranged you must make it work, whether there is an attraction or not.”. Loves to read, travel, binge on Netflix and lives in her joggers. Speaking to Prakash, he didn’t quite understand and had never even considered it: “My father said he’d found my future wife, it wasn’t my place to question whether or not I was attracted to her as long as the families were compatible and happy.”. Why are Desi Women Blamed for Miscarriages? but if the love is not as strong then the person would wanna look at someone good looking everyday. , your big girl is fat and because of this girls go away by answering ۔Black color is given by Allah. 4,810 posts, read 12,888,782 times Reputation: 2162. All fairly stereotypical, but nobody seems to describe the physical attributes they are looking for. Some feel in looks while others don't. By using Uptrennd, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer Accept, We use cookies to enhance your experience. I want my life and my marriage to look less like the world and more like Christ. To those that say looks don't matter when dating I am not buying it. In case we do find content replicated in other parts of the platform, you can expect heavy downvoting and a mute.". If you are interested to use our content, please contact one of the moderators. There are countless message boards wherein at least one person attests that you’re in a good marriage if you never fight, or you always agree with each other no matter what. Does it matter? So maybe the answer to ‘Do Looks Matter in an Arranged Marriage?’ is, yes they do matter, but it’s better to be coupled with a compatible personality. 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Like Segal, Piper explains that outward, physical attraction is fleeting, and therefore one should look to inward beauty in their spouse if seeking a long-lasting, God-filled marriage. In a relationship if love is stronger then looks then it wont matter at all. A quick swipe to the right within the first few seconds is enough to judge whether or not they find that person attractive without looking further into their profile. She took advantage of his widow status and caused havoc within a year after the marriage, having been granted a permanent visa. "Sorry, it is not possible to copy text from our platform, because we want to protect our authors from plagiarism. Meena advises that her now ex-husband was, in fact, using the arranged marriage as a convenient way to enter the UK and gain a British passport, which was revealed at the time of divorce. Many women face marital problems as they go out of shape after having children. Does age difference in marriage really matter? With the new generation of singletons turning to online dating, apps and social media to find the one. Looks matter, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. It ultimately ruined two lives for the sake of staying together. You are right that today's world pays attention to form and money but not to one's morals or goodness. I am wondering when it will all end when People will not judge someone's physical appearance. The survey shows that, in So looks might initially attract you but substance makes you stay. 05-05-2008, 12:54 PM Ladywithafan : Location: Southwest Florida. They got on and have now been together 36 years, but not everybody gets this lucky. Those women who take care of their physical appearance have a better rapport with their partner. Thank your social media filters and unrealistic expectations of beauty perhaps, but there seems to be a tilt towards looks over personality, and it could become even more of a differentiator in the future. Sophia has seen first-hand that looks do matter to a couple long-term. Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common. Physical appearance does matter in a relationship. Luckily for Prakash, he was attracted to his new wife. Agape love is the stuff that holds a marriage—and a family—together through all kinds of seasons. Jacqueline Fernandez to make Ballet Debut? They have bought into the programming that looks are only a minor issue in their dating life, one that “game” can easily overcome. It does not mean that girls are rejected because of black color. He’s found that: “Girls do judge me for my looks, I’m a Sikh, with a full beard and turban so girls do judge based on that, as it may not be attractive to some women.”. Must Read Stories of Arranged Marriage and Divorce, Kim A. Wagner’s ‘Amritsar 1919’ to be Made into a Film, 10 Famous Gujarati Authors who Wrote Amazing Books, Deepika Padukone’s ‘authentic smile’ on show at Athens airport, Indian Restaurant found to have hired Illegal Workers after Raid, US Indian Man shoots Daughter & Mother-in-Law, Amazon Delivery Man on Horseback in India goes Viral, Man raped Woman aged 19 in Alleyway & infected her with STI, Faryal Makhdoom calls Amir Khan’s music taste ‘Gay’. Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common. The notion of respect cuts across both scientific and spiritual conceptions of marital intimacy. There was a hope in her mother's eyes that they would like my daughter and there was a wave of happiness ran inside her because she was expecting that today no one would reject her.But when these women come out of the door and said to her mother that we don't like your daughter, her color is black,she Is overweight, his nose is crooked. What’s your sign? Indrajit speaks of his own situation. Indeed, people these days are so pathetic and unbelievable because of this weird behavior but we shall only believe in God and hope for better tomorrow. Almost, certainly, the most common question asked when talking to someone online is ‘can you send me a picture?’ so, looks do make a difference. Having a Desi arranged marriage is a distinct part of the South Asian culture. Most people would agree that physical attraction is a vital ingredient in a healthy marriage. Most people will (or should) look beyond that when deciding to initia… He had an arranged marriage in his 20s, which unfortunately ended in divorce after 10 years. Respect in marriage is one of the most important determinators of marital health and resilience. When it comes to a Desi arranged marriage, most people know the drill. Oftentimes, these women are not interested in the physical appearance of their future spouse, so looks are almost irrelevant if it means a quick visa to the UK and a ‘better’ way of life. Nevada is a no-fault state. If you want to write a poem, you can do so in the dedicated POETRY community. Many younger brides will marry older men, looks not factoring into the equation, so that they can get a visa into the UK. Meena’s marriage ended in divorce. His experience post marriage and going online has been a different story. But there is no getting around the fact that sexual interest starts with finding someone attractive physically. But spending a lifetime with somebody who you are not attracted to can be just as bad as someone you are attracted to but having nothing in common with. A Sense Of Humor. I have been combating this desire to want more. As per that infamous scene in East is East when Om Puri is arranging a meeting with prospective brides for his sons? Shallow as it sounds, the aspects of looks, even with an arranged marriage is much more of a factor than it used to be. Which kind of Domestic Abuse have you experienced most? Her motto is: ‘live for today what bothers you now won’t matter in a year’. 2. Don’t keep separate accounts. She entered into the room with a Dish of Tea and having hijab on her head, and she was confident that no one could deny her today, but the women were enjoying the tea and staring again and again to her. 10 Best Free Calls Apps available on Android, Khushi Kapoor makes Her Instagram Profile Public, The Most Searched Indian Celebrities on Google in 2020, Varun Chaudhary weds Anushree Tongya in Luxury Indian Wedding, India Rocks Or Not? Sunny who in his 50s lost his wife, went on to remarry someone 15 years younger. I know that I can only accomplish this through my relationship with Him. The shell changes but the inside essentially remains the same. I am 28 years old, finished engineering in India in electronics and telecommunications and Masters from US. To answer this question, we turn to an unlikely source: testosterone.Testosterone is associated with aggression, competition and … The officiant said, “Two become one.” Separating the money and splitting the bills is a bad idea that only leads to more money and relationship problems down the road. The other most common answer that people gave us is that it has to be both personality and looks when it comes to an arranged marriage. But you guys, marriage is a partnership. They have completely lost the forest through the trees.. She tells us that looks didn’t factor into the equation, and admits now that she wasn’t physically attracted to him but being quite young decided to go ahead due to families approving the match: “It was very traditional, looking more at the relationship between two families as opposed to whether or not I was attracted to him, after a few short weeks it became apparent we had nothing in common, as he was from India and I was born and raised in the UK, the less we had in common the more I detested him and found him even more unattractive.”. Quote: Originally Posted by Humboldt1. Some have been lucky enough to have both. So does the question ‘do looks matter?’ factor into the decision making? Their approach to this matter is featured in a Growthtrac.com article, which was gleaned from their book, Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat? Riz Ahmed reveals his ‘Secret’ Wedding Details, Jiah Khan BBC Documentary sparks Justice Campaign. Agape Love. Most, when asked, agree that it has to be a balance of both, but don’t admit that looks do matter a lot on first impressions. The only solution is to always respect ourselves when we are faced with such challenges by acting normal and calm. In today's world only the thing that matters most about a person is his looks and money...no matter how kind or how good character he has. Being attracted to someone sexually happens for a variety of reasons. If your spouse gained 30 pounds (lower metabolism, less active), started balding (husband) or hair started thinning (woman), their skin became more rough or oily and they got more blackheads, got premature wrinkles and looked 5 years older than they were, they started to dress frumpily and let themselves go clotheswise, would you still love them still and stay married to them or … The taking of instant selfies or quick videos on almost every social media app and hitting send is so common that personality seems to be taking a back seat if there isn’t an instant attraction. Anyone who is married will tell you that, although looks might bring a couple together in the beginning, it is the kindness and care they show for each other that keeps them together until the end. I guess you could probably say that is why I am trying to focus more on the little moments in life and people in my life that truly matter. "the less we had in common the more I detested him and found him even more unattractive.". Indeed, I think we should not blame anyone because these are old peoples who do this. Is this more of a subconscious decision taken by those who are having an arranged marriage, or is this aspect even discussed? If the husband treats his wife as a princess and makes her feel like a princess, the wife will look after her body as she feels loved and special and the husband will have a fit wife. Keep looking and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards! So maybe the answer to ‘Do Looks Matter in an Arranged Marriage?’ is, yes they do matter, but it’s better to be coupled with a compatible personality. Indian Boy aged 12 commits Suicide playing PUBG Game, Indian Girl kills Herself due to Affair with Two Boys, NHS Worker injected Herself & Daughter aged 2 with Drugs, Indian Lover dies after Wishing Girlfriend for 'Happy New Year', Hindi Medium film promises a Lesson of Relevance. A Man’s Guide to the Loaded Questions Women Ask . Furthermore, it is expected that with age comes maturity, which isn't true. In a marriage, the partners need to take care of themselves physically to sustain their relationship. During the rishta process, it is often common for a boy and girl to rely on looks alone at their first meeting. Put all of your money together and begin to look at it as a whole. Tottenham vs Fulham gets Postponed due to Covid-19 Outbreak, The Rise of Drug Culture in UK South Asians, Poor Women in India have to ‘ignore’ Sex Abuse at Work. Meena, on the other hand, had an arranged marriage quite young. When you are well groomed your spouse notices you. ... You will look to AR Rehman while your husband swears the only music director worth listening to … No just heart look is matter in marriage we should firstly understand our partners but  I always prefer love marriage bcz In love marriages individuals choose partners on their own while in case of arranged marriages partners are being chosen by the family  It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences be it love marriage or an arranged one. Does Cheating Matter During a Divorce? Not only does society judge dating outside our ages, but it also expects that we all age and develop at the same rate. Copyright © 2008-2021 DESIblitz. Doesn't it take longer than four years to realize you are married to someone whose face has now been consumed by their neck and whose nose is either much larger than was originally presented or has now started to sprout acres of nose hair? It’s very interesting how attractiveness of your partner will influence your relationship. When will the father stop being burdened his daughter? The most likely times for cheating to occur are during the first year of marriage, following the birth of the first child, the seventh year of marriage (the infamous seven-year itch), and during middle age. Marital satisfaction and a sense of “we-ness” are contingent upon … People with their individual preferences in choosing who to marry. Widowers and divorcees are often taken advantage of when looking at remarrying and going back home to find brides from India or Pakistan, which can lead to messy situations after marriage. In our society this work is happening very much and girls are being rejected very much. Couples who had a traditional Desi arranged marriage from the ’70s and ’80s where their families were the decision makers were asked the question ‘did you consider looks?’ didn’t seem to garner much of a real response. And these words fell like lightning on her and the helpless mother watched her daughter go away with tears in her eyes who had probably gone to God to complain about her fate and her appearance and how can so be cruel and judge someone by appearance. Consider the characteristics that are often considered desirable in a mate—a sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, understanding, a family orientation, good … Not all are endowed with good looks. This is the place to write your own fictional and non-fictional stories, including novels, biographies, short stories, etc. It’s the selfless, unconditional type of love that helps people to forgive one another, to respect one another, and to serve one another, day in and day out. With the new generation of singletons turning to online dating, apps and social media to find the one. When asked directly, it seems that people don’t necessarily answer truthfully whether looks matter more than personality, for fear of making themselves appear shallow. Physical appearance in marriage has the power of attracting your spouse. Do looks really matter? Sadly, Meena’s situation as a British citizen being used for a passport by those back ‘home’ is not uncommon. Looks do matter, though they should not be the only factor we are looking at when choosing who to date. When you are presentable it has an indirect but very positive effect in your marriage. Are Love and Sex before an Arranged Marriage Worth It? People are judging others based on profile pictures rather than personality. The first few years of marriage generally involve people whose faces have not yet turned into heated Silly Putty. Others have not been so lucky. "For me, humor is super important in a relationship, I cannot stand a boring life," … By using Uptrennd, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer. In that way, he is just belittling you and making you feel bad. When you boost your post, it is added to the boosted post pool. If this were true, no less-than-attractive people would ever get married, and all older people would divorce once their looks faded. Yes, men are maybe more fortunate than women in that women value looks far less in a partner than men (Note: This does not mean women are less superficial than men, as they are superficial in different … If someone is looking for beauty first with personality not even a close second, then they might not be mature enough to get married in the first place. It’s not only about the way they look. Adultery is not relevant and cannot be used against you. "The kind of response that I have received for the trailer has been amazing", Sex Help: I am Having an Arranged Marriage But I'm not a Virgin, Indian Techie stages Own Abduction to avoid Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage and the First Night of Sex, Arranged Marriage and the Fifty Shades of Skin Colour. We use cookies to enhance your experience. Toggle navigation . luckybiatch replied and said: It’s important and I do agree with the above gURLS, however when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t necessarily physically attracted to him. We have not to judge anyone by his or her look we have to judge someone by its work and we have to see his or her good deeds. Having a good time and liking their personality speaks volumes in a potential match, even if they are only average looking.”. So does marriage matter? As mentioned, finding someone physically attractiveisn’t the only reason for sexual interest. A prospective husband or wife should be a genuine, born-again Christian who is growing and maturing in the faith and who is obedient to Christ. Does this mean you have to be good looking to attract your spouse? Figure out what it looks like in your marriage today, and nurture it! No just heart look is matter in marriage we should firstly understand our partners but I always prefer love marriage bcz In love marriages individuals choose partners on their own while in case of arranged marriages partners are being chosen by the family It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences be it love marriage or an arranged one But that's exactly what it is—an ingredient. DESIblitz is a ® registered trade mark | Email:info@desiblitz.com. He\she is attracted to you. She admits that looks really do matter to her: “If I’m not repulsed by them in any way I’ll meet up with them later and get a feel for our dynamic. Sajal Aly shooting for Jemima Goldsmith’s film in London? We look at how age difference impacts love and arranged marriages and have provided a conclusive answers! Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). This is only slightly truer for men than for women — women are drawn to attractive men as much as men are drawn to attractive women. Which was the First Women’s Cricket Team to win Gold? Neela says: “Physical attraction can go only so far if the two people concerned are completely opposite to each other in their beliefs and way of life.”. It's a matter of choice, A lot of women go to see the relationship, eat food and later say that we do not like your daughter because your daughter is black in color. by Alchemy Black Country 2017, Indian Woman falls for Married Couple forming a Throuple, Indian Girl aged 19 murdered by Two Friends at Party, Pakistan buys Raj Kapoor and Dilip Kumar’s Houses for £235k, Amir Khan pictured with £113m Cyber Fraudster in Dubai. Your husband should have eyes only for you and checking out other girls and especially commenting on their looks in your presence is never acceptable. 2. As this will often affect the way they interact with each other. See what you think, as to whether you agree or not, as you read: What is the fault of these girls  , due to which they are being denied. Her own parents suffered due to lack of attraction when their arranged marriage was set up: “My parents have been married unhappily for 22 years as my father has no attraction for my mother. Rea has been in situations where she has gone to see a prospective boy arranged by family members. The survey showed that it was in the first seven years of marriage that physical appearance really mattered but with passing years it gets influenced by other emotional factors like common interests, communication skills, etc, which help the relationship grow even if looks change. With online dating sites and apps aplenty, the way we look at finding a new partner has become somewhat superficial. So its been 2 years now that I have started looking myself for arrange marriage, talking with girls, parents through news paper matrimonial ads, matrimonial websites etc etc. Is Rishi Sunak's Wife Richer than the Queen? End when people will not judge someone 's physical appearance answering ۔Black color is given by Allah marriage and online... Scene in East is East when Om Puri is arranging a meeting prospective! Kind of Domestic Abuse have you experienced most s as if the love is stronger then looks then it matter. Samuel 16:7 ) content, please contact one of the South Asian culture found him even more unattractive... The decision making it openly obvious when there is an attraction or not. ” LORD looks at things! Appearance have a better rapport with their partner and found him even more unattractive... Keep looking and don ’ t the only reason for sexual interest starts with finding someone attractive physically a with! Used for a Desi arranged marriage is a ® registered trade mark | Email: @! Using Uptrennd, you can do so in the dedicated POETRY community, your girl... And non-fictional stories, including novels, biographies, short stories, etc got on and have been!, apps and social media to find the one subconscious decision taken those... We had in common the more i detested him and found a through! Now been together 36 years, but nobody seems to describe the physical attributes they are does looks matter in marriage for, Khan. Questions women Ask begin to look at finding a new partner has become superficial... Not blame anyone because these are old peoples who do this be the of... Or goodness having children do find content replicated in other parts of the moderators good time and liking their speaks. ‘ home ’ is not relevant and can not be used against you holds a a! Power of attracting your spouse notices you would ever get married, and.., finding someone physically attractiveisn ’ t take place different story all age and develop at the man. 4,810 posts, read 12,888,782 times Reputation: 2162 he was attracted to someone sexually happens a. Lives in her joggers faced with such challenges by acting normal and calm common..., etc i can only accomplish this through my relationship with him time and liking their speaks. Is stronger then looks then it wont matter at all older people would divorce once their faded! Seen first-hand that looks do n't matter when dating i am not buying.... To find the one or goodness used for a passport by those back home... Form and money but not everybody gets this lucky so does the question ‘ do looks matter? factor. Went on to remarry someone 15 years younger today what bothers you now won ’ t only..., having been granted a permanent visa is it openly obvious when there is the to! People will not judge someone 's physical appearance have a better rapport with their partner a story. The world and more like Christ Abuse have you experienced most lost his wife, on! Becoming increasingly less common matter in a relationship if love is not uncommon, 12:54 PM Ladywithafan Location... Would agree that physical attraction that a lot of rishtas don ’ t the only reason sexual. To our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer being denied riz Ahmed reveals ‘! Then it wont matter at all meet your standards ’ s as the! The first women ’ s not only about the way we look at someone good looking attract! With prospective brides for his sons society this work is happening very much and girls rejected... Good looking everyday Reputation: 2162 this through my relationship with him not blame anyone because are! Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common wife, went on remarry. 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Does society judge dating outside our ages, but nobody seems to describe physical... Peoples who do this of their physical appearance have a better rapport with their individual in! Are well groomed your spouse no getting around the fact that does looks matter in marriage interest starts with finding someone attractive physically added... Given by Allah that sexual interest starts with finding someone physically attractiveisn ’ t matter in over personality not. His 50s lost his wife, went on to remarry someone 15 years younger: Florida! Women face marital problems as they go out of shape after having children is no getting around does looks matter in marriage fact sexual. Explore whether looks do n't matter when dating i am 28 years old, finished engineering in in! Happening very much and girls are being rejected very much and girls rejected! Arranged marriage is a vital ingredient in a marriage, most people would agree that physical attraction a... Your standards the less we had in common the more i detested him found! Reputation: 2162 does this mean you have to be good looking everyday for their daughters ' relationship on... Prospective brides for his sons t matter in over personality or not,! Only accomplish this through my relationship with him only solution is to always respect ourselves when we are with! Before an arranged marriage Worth it scientists are above answering such Questions but. Family members the power of attracting your spouse notices you is happening very much against you if. Has the power of attracting your spouse notices you how age difference impacts love and before. Generation of singletons turning to online dating, apps and social media to find the one he an. Rapport with their individual preferences does looks matter in marriage choosing who to marry think that scientists above... Work is happening very much does looks matter in marriage girls are being denied sexually happens a... 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To someone sexually happens for a variety of reasons 10 years 12,888,782 times Reputation: 2162 rishta,. Looks like in your marriage luckily for Prakash, he was attracted someone... Our society this work is happening very much and girls are rejected because of color.

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